When an author is yet living we estimate his powers by his worst performance and when he is dead we rate them by his best.

Cucumber should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out.

The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.

Curiosity is one of the most permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.

Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not.

When a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind wonderfully.

Classical quotation is the parole of literary men all over the world.

A man who uses a great many words to express his meaning is like a bad marksman who, instead of aiming a single stone at an object, takes up a handful and throws at it in hopes he may hit.

There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.

When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.

He who has so little knowledge of human nature as to seek happiness by changing anything but his own disposition will waste his life in fruitless efforts.

When I was young I used to have successes with women because I was young. Now I have successes with women because I am old. Middle age was the hardest part.

I got an old school coach who's more of a teacher than a coach.

Yeah, apparently chasing a bus uses different muscles than sitting and eating.

If I could take a punch like that, I might have been able to think up a name besides George for all my sons.

Being happy is more important than anything else.

I am ready any time. Do not keep me waiting.

The best people in the world aren't those who never fail - but those who fail and learn something from it. I hope that your goal in life isn't to slide safely into death not having screwed up much.

You don't get that many people in your life that you can just tell anything to.

We all like people who do things, even if we only see their faces on cigar-box lids.

Noah had 120 years to warn humanity of the flood. We have only 4-5 years until global warming is irreversible