When an opera star sings her head off? she usually improves her appearance.

Santa Claus has the right idea - visit people only once a year.

Laughter is the closest distance between two people.

Always remember to forget the things that made you sad, but never forget to remember the things that made you glad.

Many people have asked me why there are three pedals in these grand pianos. Well the pedal in the middle is there to separate the two other pedals.

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

A Smile is a curve which can set a lot of things straight.

One afternoon, when I was four years old, my father came home, and he found me in the living room in front of a roaring fire, which made him very angry. Because we didn't have a fireplace.

He was happily married - but his wife wasn't.

Clarinets, like lawyers, have cases, mouthpieces, and they need a constant supply of hot air in order to function.

I don't mind growing old. I'm just not used to it.

Some Westerners […] have argued that the West does not have problems with Islam but only with violent Islamist extremists. Fourteen hundred years of history demonstrate otherwise.

Good governance, safety, a chance to grow economically and professionally - those are important things.

I am I, and I wish I weren't.

I had a dream that Connie Chung is doing a newscast about my death and they show a clip from Soap.

After our ages-long journey from savagery to civility, let's hope we haven't bought a round-trip ticket.

In times of change, learners inherit the earth

I was so frustrated in Sabbath after the last few albums. I just didn't like the musical direction Sabbath was going in

The last few years of my life have been a little like a long ride in a Poop de Ville with the bottom down.

The Democrats are the architects of the mess we're in that we are trying to get out of, that we're trying extricate ourselves from.

The human soul has still greater need of the ideal than of the real. It is by the real that we exist; it is by the ideal that we live.