When bad things happen to you, become wiser, not bitter.

A genuine smile is one of the world’s rarest treasures.

A fish that is afraid of drowning in a river is ignorant of its gifts.

A diamond earns its sparkle from the pressure it endures.

It is in the storm, not the calm, that a rainbow is born.

A determined seed cannot be hidden from the world, not even by dirt.

Calm skies don't make skillful eagles.

If you cry in the rain, only the sky will see your tears.

Birds keep singing beautiful songs, even if they have no audience.

Today's storms help you appreciate tomorrow’s sunshine.

Train the ears to hear more, the eyes to see more, the hands to do more, the feet to accomplish more, the mind to think more, the heart to feel more, and the soul to love more.

I didn't have all the answers, but at least I had a goal. Revenge. Who cared if it would eat me up inside and leave me hollow?

If the poor man cannot always get meat the rich man cannot always digest it.

Some critics of my work took the view that a satirist should defer to the finer feelings of his readers and respect widely held beliefs.

I want to be the peace president.

No doctor is going to do an abortion on a live fetus. That doesn't happen. Doctors don't do that. If they do, they'll get their license pulled, as well they should.

I mean, my people were very, very simple. They were peasant people, you know?

Across all fields, women are generally paid 21 percent less than men.

The worse the haircut, the better the man.

The choices we've made throughout our lives affect whatever happens to us in any given moment.

I like doing the readings and the autographing, but the interviewing gets a little tedious because you get asked the same questions every day and sometimes three or four times a day.