When deciding between two competing theories, always go with the one that doesn't involve a magic spell.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

If we throw blankets over our children's dreams, we darken their world and extinguish their desire to live.

They were new money, without a doubt: so new it shrieked. Their clothes looked as it they'd covered themselves in glue, then rolled around in hundred-dollar bills.

I feel as if I could be any thing or every thing, as if I could rant and storm, or sigh, or cut capers in any tragedy or comedy in the English language.

A drop of sense can save you an ocean of tears.

To be an artist means to search, to find and look at these realities. To be an artist means to never look away.

Love can be a terrible curse, Eragon. It can make you overlook even the largest flaws in a person's behavior.

In order to realize the worth of the anchor we need to feel the stress of the storm.

The samskaras that were developed in previous incarnations are usually hidden by the temporary amnesia of infancy and by the transient personality.

I know certain roles are important to me. I know that I really want to play them. I know I can do a good job. But I can never put into words why.

You knew the truth all along, Colie. That's all matters. You knew.