When it comes to bullshit...bigtime, major league bullshit...you have to stand in awe of the all-time champion of false promises and exaggerated claims...religion.

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me . . they’re cramming for their final exam.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some people have no idea what they're doing, and a lot of them are really good at it.

All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another

Don’t just teach your children to read… Teach them to question what they read. Teach them to question everything.

In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

There is a planet named Pluto, but we don't have one named Goofy. Goofy would be a good name for this planet. It certainly qualifies.

I'm scared David""That's good, because there's lots to be afraid of

Tick. Tick. Tick. This is the sound of your life running out.

I believe in optimism & plenty of white paint.

It's more important what you leave to people on this planet. I want my legacy to exist now, currently, not after I'm gone.

Programmer time is expensive; conserve it in preference to machine time

Negative feelings are like weeds. If you don't fully extract them (i.e. pull out the roots), they will come back.

If you have a target, you will walk more lively even in the middle of a desert!

Your painting is a measure of your mind.

The "new" in us is bound to notice the "old" that remains.

A fanatic, either, religious or political, is the subject of strong delusions.