When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time

When it comes to relationships, I find it best to have two feet out the door

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing

Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Y'know when your dog drags its butt across the carpet leaving a stain- It's not as easy as it looks..."

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

You know those vampire myths? Bollocks to them.

What was frustrating about Armageddon was the time I spent not doing anything. It was a big special effects film, and I wasn't crazy about pretending I was in outer space. It feels ridiculous.

The true spirit of delight...is to be found in mathematics as surely as in poetry.

Music that is created with the primary aim of impressing other musicians fails to connect with the vast majority of listeners.

If you think that you can sin, and then by cries avert the consequences of sin, you insult God's character.

The British public has always had an unerring taste for ungifted amateurs.

Braille is knowledge, and knowledge is power.

Our debt was too great and the words thank you too small.

Please don't wear skinny jeans if you don't have skinny genes.

Love is mental illness going in and mental illness coming out. In between, you do a lot of laundry.