When it comes to letting the world in on the secrets of his heart, he has about as much shrinking reticence as a steam calliope.

Why don't you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

There is no surer foundation for a beautiful friendship than a mutual taste in literature.

It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine.

I always advise people never to give advice.

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

Gussie, a glutton for punishment, stared at himself in the mirror.

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

As we grow older and realize more clearly the limitations of human happiness, we come to see that the only real and abiding pleasure in life is to give pleasure to other people.

The voice of Love seemed to call to me, but it was a wrong number.

And meanwhile time goes about its immemorial work of making everyone look and feel like shit.

If we first purify our souls, we desire to dwell in clean surroundings.

The earth is the Lord's.

She became an illusion of herself. It was easier to cope with people that way

As a rule, so-called "positional" sacrifices are considered more difficult, and therefore more praise-worthy, than those which are based exclusively on an exact calculation of tactical possibilities.

We all just really love teen movies and teen music and I've just always been fixated on that, so I'm just kind of immature about that kind of stuff still.

Life is a journey. Part of that journey is not just using your talents, but trying to decide what is your gift and then directing your talents to support your gift so you can soar to new heights.

Good hairstylists never die. Vidal Sassoon and Paul Mitchell will always live on.

...my sanity threatened to take a holiday without me.

The tragedy of today is that the situation is desperate but the saints are not.