When life gets you down, make a comforter!

Quotes are for dumb people who can't think of something intelligent to say on their own.

Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth.

I love you just the way you are but you don't see you like I do. You shouldn't try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.

I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?

Laughter is the best medicine, y'know, besides medicine.

Squaring numbers are just like women. If they're under thirteen, just do them in your head.

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I'd still say no.

I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.

Maybe life on earth could be heaven, doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try?

You gain strength with every difficulty, which you boldly overcome.

This book is so interesting. I always wonder what's going to happen next.

It is an economic axiom as old as the hills that goods and services can be paid for only with goods and services.

There is something to this fabric of life that is beautiful. If you find the world unpleasant, I don't think that is wisdom. That is a sign of a lack of wisdom.

I realized that the studios didn't really understand their own system.

The first time I smoked was at home with my mother and stepfather; they were like, If you are going to do this, we'd rather you did this with us.

Proteins are the machinery of living tissue that builds the structures and carries out the chemical reactions necessary for life.

I'm so fast I could hit you before God gets the news.

A good wife is like the ivy which beautifies the building to which it clings, twining its tendrils more lovingly as time converts the ancient edifice into a ruin.

That cannot be safe which is not honourable.