When life gives you lemons... choke on them and die... you stupid lemon eater.

If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions?

Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.

If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

The maintenance man is moving the thermostat in our office today. I started talking with him about the

Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.

You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me.

Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.

Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results.

Life is half delicious yogurt, half crap, and your job is to keep the plastic spoon in the yogurt.

The real purpose of the opposition is to minimize the amount of money the ruling party will have stolen from the people at the end of its term.

The more you learn about the dignity of the gorilla, the more you want to avoid people.

The facts are there that we have created, man has, a self-inflicted wound that man has created through global warming.

Leave me alone. I'm fine.

When you see yourself as calm, positive, truthful and possessed of high character, you behave with greater strength. Other people respect you more. You feel in control of yourself and the situation.

Read as few words as you like, and speak fewer, but act upon the law.

It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.

I'm pretty captivated by reality TV and I know that as an actor I probably shouldn't be saying that, but it's what I like to watch.

You have not known even a fragment of My reality. The full nature of this reality can never be understood by anyone.

I think that's the important thing - being aware of that inspiration and being able to interpret it into something that's meaningful for you.