When lost in a forest go always down hill. When lost in a philosophy or doctrine go upward.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Knowledge was like candy: you never turned it down, especially if you didn't have to work too hard to get it.

No woman worth her salt would listen to a proposal without the word ‘love’ in it.

Education's purpose is to replace an empty mind with an open one.

We're not in this for the fast money. Really, what we want is to be part of this industry.

I don't believe a religion affords any protection if they are connected to any kind of terror.

When you know a place, your feet have walked it so many times there's a comfort to it.

I Used the Word 'Negro' and I was Firmly Corrected

What people will do to get away from boredom!

People are so skillful in their ignorance!

The second advantage claimed for naturalism is that it is equivalent to rationality, because it assumes a model of reality in which all events are in principle accessible to scientific investigation.