When my parents send me emails the first 3 are blank.

When life gives you lemons don't make lemonade, make pink lemonade. Be unique.

I noticed recently, in the last few shows I did, that I'm starting to get people - not a large group, but quite a few people - who come to see me because they love Curb Your Enthusiasm.

If you feel like there's something out there that you're supposed to be doing, if you have a passion for it, then stop wishing and just do it.

I'm here today because I refused to be unhappy. I took a chance.

Don't bother me while I'm eating, or when I'm coming out of the crackhouse or something. Just let me get going.

And then also I think it's harder for women because comedy is so opposite of being ladylike.

Some government workers are dedicated and work hard, but most of them are just waiting to retire.

If you're passionate about your work, it makes the people around you want to be involved too.

I don't like the saying keep your friends close and enemies closer. I want my enemy on a different planet.

I don’t understand why people really get upset about something that doesn’t affect them at all.

And thus we all are nighingThe truth we fear to know:Death will end our cryingFor friends that come and go.

Sometimes, the things people don't say are louder than the words that come out of their mouths.

The only path wide for us all is love.

That deep, can-still-taste-her-in-my-mouth sleep.

Teach us that wealth is not elegance, that profusion is not magnificence, that splendor is not beauty.

You play a couple of shows, and these label guys come - and they leave halfway through a show. Then the phone calls just stop. And your heart is broken.

The man who loves with his whole heart truth will love still more he who suffers for truth.

No doubt the [presedential] campaigns have reflected some anxiety, anger, and resentment in the nation at large, and we must try to understand these attitudes in the electorate.

[T]he economy remains the top issue for the electorate.

I've always been sort of a closet sci-fi geek.