When newspapers are the principal vehicles of the wit and wisdom of a people, the higher graces of composition can hardly be looked for.

The Yankee: In acuteness and perseverance, he resembles the Scotch. In frugal neatness, he resembles the Dutch. But in truth, a Yankee is nothing else on earth but himself.

I very seldom, during my whole stay in the country, heard a sentence elegantly turned, and correctly pronounced from the lips of an American.

there is less alms-giving in America than in any other Christian country on the face of the globe. It is not in the temper of the people either to give or to receive.

The total and universal want of manners, both in males and females, is ... remarkable ... that polish which removes the coarser and rougher parts of our nature is unknown and undreamed of.

To an American writer, I should think it must be a flattering distinction to escape the admiration of the newspapers.

I have listened to much dull and heavy conversation in America, but rarely to any that I could strictly call silly (if I except the every where privileged class of very young ladies).

I draw from life - but I always pulp my acquaintance before serving them up. You would never recognize a pig in a sausage.

It seems hardly fair to quarrel with a place because its staple commodity is not pretty, but I am sure I should have liked Cincinnati much better if the people had not dealt so very largely in hogs.

All the freedom enjoyed in America, beyond what is enjoyed in England, is enjoyed solely by the disorderly at the expense of the orderly.

It is rarely [Americans] dine in society, except in taverns and boarding-houses. Then they eat with the greatest possible rapidity, and in total silence.

No hay felicidad más grande que la que sientes al ayudar a los demás.

Have a Blast

She smelled of talcum powder and Big Red.

Both positive and negative thinking are contagious.

Commitment is a thing of choice

In my experience most mathematicians are intellectually lazy.

I hate babies. They're so human.

It's become uncool to play other people's songs, and that's absurd. It has got to change. It's the reason why everything's so mediocre.

I like to put a little spin on traditional styles as I see them now, probably somewhat inspired by my current job on Boardwalk Empire.

I think you die the way you live.