When one reads Bibles, one is less surprised at what the Deity knows than at what He doesn't know.

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Never regret anything that made you smile.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.

Life is short, Break the Rules. Forgive quickly, Kiss slowly. Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably And never regret ANYTHING That makes you smile.

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

The science of public happiness was how Keynes saw his work as an economist.

I love you. We’re getting married, and that’s the way it is. Get used to it.

It's hard to dance to really fast music. All you can do is pump your fist to it, and after a while, you're going to have a seizure.

I'm a great fan of Woody Allen's movies.

When I think of mystery, I don't think about myself. I think of the universe, like why does the moon rise when the sun falls? Caterpillars turn into butterflies? I really haven't remained a recluse.

When a singer puts his hand on his heart, it means usually, I will always love you!

Men should never give up. I never do. I would hate to lose.

Let's put it this way: if you need to ask a lawyer whether what you do is "right" or not, you are morally corrupt. Let's not go there. We don't base our morality on law.

I try to always have flowers in the house. I have a florist in Chinatown, and they deliver orchids every two weeks. I like living with living things.

I really, really fear head injuries. But when people hit their heads in movies or fall down - I can't stop laughing.