When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.

I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.

The reason I love my dog so much is because when I come home, he's the only one in the world who treats me like I'm the Beatles.

Let's face it; God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?

The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.

If you have a gun, you can rob a bank, but if you have a bank, you can rob everyone.

False hope really makes you cynical.

To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.

It's not getting any better for the American people. It seems to be getting worse. That's predictable; education is a cycle. Stupidity breeds more stupidity.

You know what happens when windmills collapse into the sea? A splash.

Here's the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He's never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He's totally - he's the white Kanye.

People are wonderful one at a time. Each one of them has an entire hologram of the universe somewhere within them.

Children should enjoy the few years they have just being a kid.

Dishonesty is like a boomerang. About the time you think all is well, it hits you in the back of the head.

...the global surface albedo [surface whiteness] and greenhouse gas changes account for practically the entire global climate change.

The corporation is an out-of-control Frankenstein.

Not following her is the hardest thing I've ever done.

I like doing sequels. Basically, I think it's a fun thing to follow characters in time. In real time.

I work because I think that I wouldn't feel good about myself unless I was contributing.

Focus on your business strengths and keep its weaknesses away from the competition or public.

I cannot fiddle, but I can make a great state from a little city.