When people talk about their great past they're usually trying to excuse the mediocre present.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

A sobering thought: what if right at this very moment I am living up to my full potential?

Good taste is the first refuge of the non-creative. It is the last ditch stand of the artist.

The amount of meetings I've been in - people would be shocked. But that's how you gain experience, how you can gain knowledge, being in meetings and participating. You learn and grow.

I think most people when you say slavery tend to see a group of anonymous people pulling cotton sacks in great plantation fields, and that is largely true.

I wish you music to help with the burdens of life ,and to help you release your happiness to others.

It sucks, but no Long Islands or margaritas when you drink. It has to be straight vodka.

Of course. My sadness has become a routine that no one notices anymore.

I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.

The Buddha never taught a sectarian religion; he taught Dhamma - the way to liberation - which is universal.

Should you ask me what is the first thing in religion, I should reply that the first, second, and third thing therein is humility.