When people try to rain on your parade, ...pee on theirs

The only way I’d ever die of a broken heart, is if I slammed into something really hard

Loving someone is sticking a pin through a voodoo doll and not hitting any vital organs

Manners without sincerity, is called polite society

Anyone can spin a victory, it's a total loss that demands creativity

If life is a bowl of cherries, what's inside of it?

Patience is learning to take a deep breath while you’re exhaling

If you see the light at the end of the tunnel, you’re lookingthrough binoculars the wrongway

Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy

An alibi is one alliterative consonant short of being a magic carpet

Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what

On DreamsOnly one thing supersedes the importance of thinking about a better tomorrow. It's taking action today.

True states of realization occur when you throw away all the teachings. All of the teachings, absolutely. Everything. Then you are investigation itself finding out what you are.

I like to sleep about four or five really solid hours at night, and then sometimes take a nap in the afternoon or early evening after dinner. I love naps.

The sensitive artist knows that a bitter wind is blowing.

We teachers are rather good at magic, you know.

The joy late coming late departs.

Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I'm not living.

Everyone thinks I'm a comedian - which I am and are. I was born into a comedic family but I'm trained as an actor.

If I ever meet a writer or a painter, I don't presuppose that they are like the work they are presenting.

The way to healthy living is to shift from quantitative economic growth to quality of life, food, water and air - to shift from craving to contentment and from greed to gratitude