When some fellers decide to retire nobody knows the difference.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Of course there’s another choice, he thought. There is always another choice. I’m just not going to take it.

People will typically be more enthusiastic where they feel a sense of belonging and see themselves as part of a community than they will in a workplace in which each person is left to his own devices

You can't make something happen with a horse, but you can fix things up and let it happen.

Music for me has always been something that is directly connected to my heart.

The world asks, How much does he give? Christ asks why does he give?

I was wearing like, a Juicy Couture men's polo shirt. We weren't there, like, ready for war.

I don't understand why people think it's harder to do drama than it is to do comedy.

Believe me, you lose more than a gallon of fluids during a race. You could lose between six and 10 pounds during a race, depending on hot it is.

I have my own army in the NYPD, which is the seventh biggest army in the world.

If I'm racist, don't think I would have directed shows like 'The Parkers' and 'The Wayans Brothers' or worked 41 episodes with Victoria Rowell on 'Diagnosis: Murder.'