When some folks agree with my opinions I begin to suspect I'm wrong.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Make your heart your heaven.

The point is there ain't no point.

The minute you know you're on safe ground, you're dead.

Until you know who has lent what to whom, you know nothing whatever of politics, you know nothing whatever of history, you know nothing of international wrangles.

Amory: I love you. Rosalind: I love you- now.

That, however, is - mediocrity, though it be called moderation.

Socialism is always wrong.

Believe you can do it. Believing something can be done puts your mind to work for you and helps you find ways to do it.

There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth.

I need my natural laziness to be counteracted by obsession in order to do anything.