When somebody tells you they're not very smart, they're saying exactly the opposite.

Electricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot across that floor. I told him he was grounded.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.

I have to get a licence to drive a motorcycle to protect myself and the people around me. I am adamant there should be some sort of licensing required to have children.

A guy knows he's in love when he loses interest in his car for a couple of days.

If you don't decide where you're going, life will decide for you.

Sometimes you get the sense that the Creator is getting to that point of "Yeah, we might have to reboot."

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

Real men don't use instructions, son. Besides, this is just the manufacturer's opinion on how to put this together.

I'm a creative guy, artistically with graphics.

Jill, we became parents so we could tell our kids what to do. Otherwise we're just the tallest people living here.

Who are you? That is what you need to remember.

The most formidable way to lead is to serve. And while the perplexing oxymoron of such a grinding statement absolutely cripples us, it birthed a Savior.

She had been nothing but a beloved bauble passed from a mother to a son, a decoration of vanity, devoid of identity.

One of my roommates, Rafael, he's an expert on monsters. Not that he talks about them. I can just tell. People who have monsters recognize each other. They know each other without even saying a word.

When a man dies, flesh is frayed and broken in the fire, but not his will.

I never see a novel as a film while I'm writing it. Mostly because novels and films are so different, and I'm such an internal novelist

When you contact the Higher Self, the source of power within, you tap into a reservoir of infinite power.

Why doesn't my stupid brain understand that I always wanted to be you? No you; no,no..you.Hey,you! now what are you smiling at.

Silence has sometimes a remarkable power of showing itself as the disembodied soul of feeling wandering without its carcase, and it is then more impressive than speech.

Botvinnik was a killer in chess.