When starting to think about any novel, part of the motive is: I'm going to show them, this time.

The first, indeed the only, requirement of a diet is that it should lose you weight without reducing your alcoholic intake by the smallest degree.

The rewards for being sane may not be very many, but knowing what's funny is one of them.

If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing.

Only a world without love strikes me as instantly and decisively more terrible than one without music.

If you are using an adverb, you have got the verb wrong.

A bad review may spoil your breakfast, but you shouldn't allow it to spoil your lunch.

Self criticism must be my guide to action, and the first rule for its employment is that in itself it is not a virtue, only a procedure.

It is natural and harmless in English to use a preposition to end a sentence with.

Consciousness was upon him before he could get out of the way.

Women are really much nicer than men: No wonder we like them.

Whole life is a search for beauty. But, when the beauty is found inside, the search ends and a beautiful journey begins.

[Heihei] is stupidest chicken on planet Earth and mascot.

I know this, the Federal Reserve is private and the I.R.S. is screwing us.

Repartee is altogether a natural endowment, and is the lightning of the mind.

A myth is the name of a terrible lie told by a smelly little brown person to a man in a white suit with a pair of binoculars.

I went whale watching once. It was very similar to watching people on a boat become disappointed.

Terrorism must be outlawed by all civilized nations — not explained or rationalized, but fought and eradicated. Nothing can, nothing will justify the murder of innocent people and helpless children.

Moral certainty can deafen people to any truth other than their own.

Most liberals think of civil liberties as their Achilles heel. It isn't.

The commonality in the human experience is the same. We have the same sorrows, and the same triumphs. Joy is joy is joy.