When the inventor of the drawing board messed things up, what did he go back to?

Growing old is compulsory - growing up is optional.

Personally, I don't think there's intelligent life on other planets. Why should other planets be any different from this one?

Silence is not only golden, it is seldom misquoted.

I got a horse for my wife. I thought it was a fair swap.

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer.

My mother tried to kill me when I was a baby. She denied it. She said she thought the plastic bag would keep me fresh.

If blind people wear sunglasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo.

The last time I was in Spain I got through six Jeffrey Archer novels. I must remember to take enough toilet paper next time.

Silence is the mother of all tongues

It's hard luck always having to be a judge.

In our Country... one class of men makes war and leaves another to fight it out.

The appeal of travel books is also the sense that you are different, an outsider, almost like the Robinson Crusoe or Christopher Columbus notion of being the first person in a new place.

It's a great feeling as a coach to see your athlete run well, hearing the oohs and aahs as she picks people off.

When the whole world doesn't believe in God, it'll be a great place.

To play down mothering as small is to crack the very foundation on which greatness stands.

Put the uncommon effort into the common task... make it large by doing it in a great way.

Beliefs are the foundation of actions. Those who believed without doubting, he would say, acted without thinking. And those who acted without thinking were enslaved.

It's not how long you live, but how you live that's important. Therefore, don't make your life just livable, make it memorable.