[When to have a facelift:] If you're tripping over your neck.

We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

If you don't have wrinkles, you haven't laughed enough.

Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I've tried Buddhism, Scientology, Numerology, Transcendental Meditation, Qabbala, t'ai chi, feng shui and Deepak Chopra but I find straight gin works best.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Withdrawing back is like ending school withouth examination which means your not tested to face the professional aimed at. Never get back on the aimed forward processes.

Only a "dry as dust" religion prompts a minister to extol the glories of Heaven while ignoring the social conditions that cause men an Earthly hell.

She saw the scarlet thread of her lips, the light in her eyes, the family through their love, their children running barefoot in a fresh field.

Sadly, American teenagers are to a weightless vacuum as seat cushions are to polyurethane foam -

The sacrifice of Diogenes to all the gods.

More than mother and son, they were accomplices in solitude.

Wolf Hall attempts to duplicate not the historian's chronology but the way memory works: in leaps, loops, flashes.

The problem posed by indirect speech acts is the problem of how it is possible for the speaker to say one thing and mean that but also to mean something else.

I write songs to handle emotional pain. I guess what they say is true: with every heartache comes a great song. I also pray and have great friends.

Find a gap between a trigger event and our usual conditioned response to it and by using that pause to collect ourselves and shift our response