When trouble strikes, head to the library. You will either be able to solve the problem, or simply have something to read as the world crashes down around you.

Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.

Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can exactly agree on what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.

Temper tantrums, however fun they may be to throw, rarely solve whatever problem is causing them.

I didn't realize this was a sad occasion.

They didn't understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.

Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby - awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.

Chestnuts in stuffing tastes like someone chewed up a tree branch and then French-kissed it into your mouth.

The thing with your heart's desire is that your heart doesn't even know what it desires until it turns up.

Accidents happen all the time.

Morning is an important time of day, because how you spend your morning can often tell you what kind of day you are going to have.

Marriages last because the people in them want to be married

It is only the sudden and unpredictable appearance of comets that spoils the immutable celestial sphere.

If you want to be loved be lovable.

He taught me never to smile, which helps me when I visit disaster sites.

Do good things for other people.

I would much rather see somebody bring something new to a genre than produce something that seems safe.

An ample arse helps you to be weighed down and be grounded.

Evolution can't be predicted, Julian used to tell me; it's a scattershot business; it fires, but it doesn't aim.

I started taking gymnastic classes when I was 3 years old.

A cold wind blew on the prairie on the day the last buffalo fell. A death wind for my people.