When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

It was the truth, and like any truth, it was powerful.

Not being aware of all you have to do is much like having a credit card for which you don't know the balance or the limit - it's a lot easier to be irresponsible.

Hurling looks a bit like a cross between lacrosse and second degree murder.

Ego is impurity. Be selfless. Consecrate and dedicate your life to perfection.

Your car goes where your eyes go. Lonliness is unable to survive without a willing host.

The Democrats and Republicans are the same guy admiring themself in the mirror.

Woman, I’m trying to fight here! Or has that escaped your attention?

I wouldn't mind my book being called an African novel if it didn't invite lazy readings.

If complexity doesn't beat you, paradox will.