When we passed a Catholic church, I recalled, he said, "You think your dad's a good chemist? They're turning soda crackers into meat in there. Can your dad do that?

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

Beware of the man who works hard to learn something, learns it, and finds himself no wiser than before.

Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college.

Being a Humanist means trying to behave decently without expectation of rewards or punishment after you are dead.

One of the few good things about modern times: If you die horribly on television, you will not have died in vain. You will have entertained us.

A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved.

Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.

Music is, to me, proof of the existence of God. It is so extraordinarily full of magic, and in tough times of my life I can listen to music and it makes such a difference.

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.

We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.

I am so fresh in soul and spirit that life gushes and bubbles around me in a thousand springs.

So hey, once Joshua heals your brother, you want to go do something, get some pomegranate juice, a falafel,or get married or something?

No one has a right to happiness.

any compulsion tries to justify itself.

Endure the journey that you take to reach your top moment. You might not get there right now but when you do, remember what you did to get there.

None so blind, so deaf, as those that will not hear, that will not see.

If people of India can reach Mars with minimal expenditure, why can they not keep their streets and colonies clean.

Einstein, my upset stomach hates your theory [of General Relativity]—it almost hates you yourself! How am I to' provide for my students? What am I to answer to the philosophers?!!

Auditioning is the most terrifying thing Ive ever done. There must have been four or five of them where I completely froze up and walked out of the room. My palms get sweaty just thinking about it.

...if ever the sun rises upon Barbecue, its flavor vanishes like Cinderella's silks, and it becomes cold baked beef - staler in the chill dawn than illicit love.