When we save the rain forest, the polar bear, and Al Gore, we should party so hard that Canada calls the cops on us for noise.

The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I don't have a bank account because I don't know my mother's maiden name.

I got my dog three years ago because I was drunk in a pet store. We had nine cats at the time. The cats started hiding the alcohol after that.

I don’t believe for a second that weightlifting is a sport. They pick up a heavy thing and put it down again. To me, that’s indecision.

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas

Remember when you were considered an environmentalist when you didn't throw junk out the car window? I sure do miss that simpler, happier time.

The wages of sin are death, but by the time taxes are taken out, it's just sort of a tired feeling.

I have terrible short-term memory loss, which I like to think of as Presidential eligibility.

If you have assimilated even one idea and made it your life, you have more education than any person who has got by heart the entire Library of Congress.

Almost overnight, Albert Pinkham had gone from being barely able to keep his head above water to walking on the stuff.

God is not interested in your ability. He isinterested in your availability. When you availyour ability to God, you become a faithful leader.

In our postmodern culture which is TV dominated, image sensitive, and morally vacuous, personality is everything and character is increasingly irrelevant.

Surround yourself with people who provide you with support and love and remember to give back as much as you can in return.

Better to die once and for all, than live in continual terror.

When you're experiencing what's happening right now, all of a sudden everything that happened to you in your entire life melts away.

Habit maketh no monk, ne wearing of gilt spurs maketh no knight.

And the passiveness, you know, the apathy, well, that's not responsible citizenship. When I'm asked, why am I an activist, I say, well that's the rent that I pay for living on this planet, okay?

I'm an actor, a husband, a father of two, and a full-time Avenger.