When we started the show, there were mixed responses. Half of the people said, 'That show doesn't have a chance.' The other half said, 'That show doesn't have a prayer.'

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Sometimes I feel I am destined for greater things, and then again sometimes I suspect that I am just an extra in epic movie.

Unanimity makes me itchy. It almost always hides a grave. I started digging.

In our business, things look like a failure until they're not. It's pretty binary transitions.

I wouldn't want to be around anyone that would want me around.

This ain't no party, this ain't no disco, this ain't no fooling around.

Ultimately success or failure in photographing people depends on the photographer's ability to understand his fellow man.

I like ideas. I find them more exciting than human behavior for the most part.

I don't make sonic booms. I want a whip. I like the idea of walking around making sonic booms everywhere.

I'm a real common sense guy who caught a lot of good breaks and who has been very, very fortunate.

Cattlemen have lost more in the last few years than anybody and say less about it.