When women are excited about a date, they go immediately on a diet, because all women know they are hideously obese.

Dogs are us, only innocent.

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

There is a microscopically thin line between being brilliantly creative and acting like the most gigantic idiot on earth.

Dogs act exactly the way we would act if we had no shame.

Infidelity is such a pretty word, so light and delicate. Whereas the act itself is dark and thick with guilt, betrayal, confusion, pain, and (okay) sometimes enormous pleasure.

Never judge someone by who he's in love with; judge him by his friends. People fall in love with the most appalling people.

A person who uses party as a verb is a person who will walk into a shop and walk out wearing a rubber jumpsuit.

Friends are the twenty-first-century version of extended families.

we know that our world is corrupt and diseased but we're tired of being cynical and feeling helpless. What the hell, tilt at a windmill.

Show me a woman who is prouder of her clean kitchen than of her collection of lingerie and I'll show you a woman with enlarged pores.

The deepest truth however is, that no love begins unconditional, but the only one that grows to be it, is the one that survives the breaking of all conditions, yet standing tall.

Courage is like the diamond,--very brilliant; not changed by fire, capable of high polish, but except for the purpose of cutting hard bodies useless.

The moment of finding a fellow-creature is often as full of mingled doubt and exultation, as the moment of finding an idea.

Most speakers speak ten minutes too long.

Where a man does his best with only moderate powers, he will have the advantage over negligent superiority.

Here's what we should be doing. We've got to get off fossil fuels.

I'm playin' music for a certain type of person. Fortunately, there are more and more of us. At least there are more comin' to see me than there were 30 years ago or so.

My temperament is not geared to that of a novelist.

All da ladies love Leo!!

It took a while to understand the beauty of just letting go