When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here?

Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He's a mile away and you've got his shoes!

I've always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.

My definition of an intellectual is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture without thinking of the Lone Ranger.

A woman's mind is as complex as the contents of her handbag; even when you get to the bottom of it, there is ALWAYS something at the bottom to surprise you!

So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?

Never trust a man, who when left alone with a tea cosey... Doesn't try it on.

There are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.

The desire to be a politician should bar you for life from ever being one.

I think age is terribly overrated. You're okay as long as you don't grow up. By all means grow old, but don't mature. Remain childlike, retain wonder, the ability to be flabbergasted by something.

Life is supposed to be fun. It's not a job or occupation. We're here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.

A smile costs nothing.So don't waste it!

I wanted to write a voice that for me, as a reader, had been missing from the chorus: the voice of an angry woman.

Jon: Have you seen the wall? | Sam: I'm fat, not blind.

The great wheel of Fate rolls on like a Juggernaut, and crushes us all in turn, some soon, some late

The question is whether you can bear freedom. At present the vast majority of men, whether white or black, require the discipline of labor which enslaves them for their own good.

Walk a single path, become neither cocky with victory nor broken with defeat.

I'm surrounded by men, and the muse is complaining that I have neglected her.

I started my career at the top and have been working my way downwards ever since.

To achieve a goal, a dream, a wish, you must plan it out for success!

Show me a mistress that is passing fair, what doth her beauty serve but as a note where I may read who pass'd that passing fair?