When you break life down, it's about 100% time management.

Life is like jury duty. Just do it and get it over with.

Competition is the death of art.

Have you noticed since Global Warming took hold that all the snowmen look kind of angry?

They say that cats are the only animal that can sit in your lap and ignore you. To which I say: you've never been to the Spearmint Rhino.

The Cadillac Escalade is the perfect vehicle for a pimp with a growing family.

Why do I always meet women as I'm leaving the dog park with a big bag of poop? And it's always on the day I forgot my dog.

Women are like pumpkins; you search and search for the perfect one, bring it home, and the next thing you know, you're looking for a knife.

I like to think of Doritos as emotional packing material to safeguard the feelings I've swallowed.

Unshaven dudes in hoodies and ski caps look so hip and cool, until they too close to a grocery cart full of dented cans.

To really make it look like Santa came, I put reindeer poop on the roof. It's just so cold up there with my pants down.

I would've had an easier time if my emotions had all pulled me in the same direction, but it wasn't so simple. I'd been blown about like a scrap of paper in the wind.

Your ordinary acts of love and hope point to the extraordinary promise that every human life is of inestimable value.

Im still getting more familiar with the plays and different things, but I think that will come along with getting more experience and getting to know the guys better.

I'm used to being someone else 10 months out of the year.

On sand, you can never be sure of anything. An ordinary shot can take a wicked deflection at the last moment.

The most fundamental constraint is limited time

I don't want to make films that give you the answer. If there is a message to my films - and I hope there isn't - it's to be open-minded.

That disapproving look was back in her eyes. Her teacher face. The one that could make you squirm from ten paces, even if you were innocent. And I hadn't been innocent for years.

At the highest level of awareness, the greatest gift given and received when you give someone flowers, is the joy of living a life based on love.

I think those who have impact and influence over us are often unaware.