When you can't draw chameleons and you can't draw blenders, it's a bad idea to write strips where chameleons become blenders.

Brits have a better sense of humor in most ways. It's darker, more cutting.

If somebody is not on the same page with me humor wise, I can't give them that.

I seem to be able to get away with pun strips if I add a panel at the end where I somehow indicate that I know it's a bad pun.

It's best to love your family as you would a Siberian tiger-from a distance, preferably separated by bars.

You can write a little and can draw a little, but there's necessarily a limitation on both in a comic strip, since it appears in such a tiny space.

Sticking to my schedule, Ive gotten over seven months ahead, which allowed me to write a Pearls Before Swine movie script for the big screen.

I was a lawyer for 10 years, and when youre in law, things really have to get done, or somebody sues you. Its a great trick.

Most poetry just confounds me. I really want to like it, but I can't help thinking it's a hoax. (p. 24)

If you put me in South Park, that audience is going to fall asleep in five minutes.

The writing is done on the computer, and the drawing is done by hand. I write, write, write, then I hit the illustration.

Watching other people making friends, everywhere, as a dog makes friends. I mark the manner of these canine courtesies and think, here comes, thank Heaven, another enemy!

Idyllic memories are merely a jeweled noose.

Why should your heart not dance?

I think of myself as being a bit of a wimp deep down - a bourgeois wimp - and I'm fighting that. I think all Brits are, maybe.

I need the information and then I can go. So, as long as I have the information and a little bit of sleep, I can do the rest.

I have been dealing with claims that I cheated and had an unfair advantage in winning my seven Tours since 1999.

So I'm taking a stand-and I hope others will-to really live what I believe and embrace who I am in Jesus Christ.

Society and Government should together give priority to the poorest of poor and make efforts to provide affordable health services.

Under that heart of stone beat muscles of pure flint.

There will come a time where I'm not gonna do this anymore. I mean, there will come a time, definitely, where I'll turn into Elvis I'm gonna be fat and fishin', I guarantee you.