When you do something stupid and die, it's pathetic," I said. "When you do something stupid and survive it, then you get to call it impressive or heroic.

The building was on fire, and it wasn’t my fault.

When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family.

Laugh whenever you can. Keeps you from killing yourself when things are bad. That and vodka.

I've always felt that the best whips and chains are in the mind. With a little creativity, the physical ones are hardly necessary.

HARRY DRESDEN—WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment

I checked my gear, my pockets, my shoelaces, and realized that I had crossed the line between making sure I was ready and trying to postpone the inevitable.

I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero. Harry Dresden, breaker of monsters' hearts.

Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of trauma, I will fear no concussion.

I died. I died and someone made a clerical error and I am in Heaven.

There is the world that should be and the world that is. We live in one and must create the other.

In order to live up to your full potential on earth, you must always challenge and replace any thought or belief that goes against your happiness and success.

Oh no. I'm not gonna let you leave yet. I'm gonna show you the value of takin' your time to get to work. I probably should have done this a long time ago.

Eventually nothing will matter, this page, where you are sitting, your degree, your job, your money except love and human connection.

One man's cult is another man's religion.

I think everyone still thinks I'm 13.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

I go through a lot of bad stuff, because most of the stuff that's written is pretty bad. But occasionally something comes along that's good, and I want to do it.

A joker is near akin to a buffoon; and neither of them is the least related to wit.

The best mobile phone had the best mathematician. They know how to fit a huge amount of data into a small amount of space. How to do things efficiently, how to do them cleverly.

It's always good to get a goal on your first shift, but this was a game it seemed everything was going in.