When you doubt, abstain.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

Education does not mean teaching people what they do not know. It means teaching them to behave as they do not behave.

The end of love looks like the beginning of war

Everybody has it wrong way round. Parents don't make children--children make parents. They shape our behavior from the first wail. Mold us into what they need. It can be a pretty rough process, too

Without a positive male role model in your life it is extremely difficult to become a man who benefits his family and benefits society.

Whenever there is a conflict between universal principles and self-interest, self-interest is likely to prevail.

Religion, after all, is nothing but an hypothesis framed to account for what is evidentially unaccounted for.

If you begin the day with a laugh, you may, nevertheless, end it with a sob and a sigh.

It is as hard to find a neutral critic as it is a neutral country in time of war. I suppose if a critic were neutral, he wouldn't trouble to write anything.

I am an Instrument of Nature..Love is my message.

Sweets with sweets war not, joy delights in joy.