When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. When I was in India last summer, I was listening to a lot of Michael Bolton.

Say what you want about the deaf.

The tragedy for comedians is there's nothing more they want than to be liked. We desperately seek approval. It's almost like a personality disorder you can do as a job.

My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not only is she vegetarian.

British scientists have demonstrated that cigarettes can harm your children. Fair enough. Use an ashtray!

A lady with a clipboard stopped me in the street the other day. She said, 'Can you spare a few minutes for cancer research?' I said, 'All right, but we won't get much done.'

I said to my girlfriend, you shouldn't eat before you swim. She said, "why not"? I said, you look fat.

I'm not being condescending, I'm too busy thinking about far more important things you wouldn't understand.

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die. I would have thought the obvious one was 'Shout For Help'.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets then every year we could save millions of mosquitoes from dying needlessly of aids.

People with Tourettes.....What makes them tick?

Do not go for conformity that breeds mediocrity! Choose instead to stand for transformation that does not only transforms lives, but true purpose and living as well.

Is it as plainly in our living shown, By which way the wind hath blown?

The narrator finds that as a maturing character grows in stature before her friends that she sees less stature while evaluating herself.

You did what you did out of love. I can't be mad at you over that. It was stupid, but that's how love is. Do you have any idea what I'd do for you? To keep you safe?

Have fun, even if it’s not the same kind of fun everyone else is having.

But how do we know when irrational exuberance has unduly escalated asset values, which then become subject to unexpected and prolonged contractions as they have in Japan over the past decade?

But then in novels the most indifferent hero comes out right at last. Some god comes out of a theatrical cloud and leaves the poor devil ten thousand-a-year and a title.

Heaven is something that we can easily get excited and thrilled about and look forward to. It will be like Christmas is for children, only it will be the greatest Christmas we've ever had!

You can reconstruct the picture from chaos and memory's ruins.

Whether it was good or bad, that was the day, and you have to let it go.