When you get ready to write your novel, outline it first. There's nothing worse than getting halfway through and realizing you've painted yourself in a plot corner.

You're a marshmallow. Soft and sweet and when you get heated up you go all gooey and delicious."-

I shot that sucker right in the gumpy." Grandma Mazur

The 'Barnaby' books were always intended to be graphic novels.

I'm done with men. I have a hamster. That's all I need.

When I was six years old I sprinkled sugar on my head, convinced myself it was pixie dust, wished myself invisible, and walked into the boys' bathroom at school.

My Spanish is limited to burrito and taco.

Calories don’t count if they’re connected to a celebration. Everyone knows this.

-You're gloating, Max. It's not flattering. Somebody needs to teach you a little humility.- -A good woman could do that.- -She'd have to be armed and dangerous.-

Its always nice to have a stud muffin at the table.

Only men you can count on these days are Ben and Jerry.

It'll always be dark until you decide to turn on the light, you can and you will, it's your choice!

With love you could persuade a Pathan to go to Hell, but by force you couldn't even take him to Heaven.

Everyone has a different route to success, recognition, and peace. Don't be afraid to move instinctually.

I care about what the people I care about think about me. It's a short list, but I really care about what those people think.

That however the brains and abilities of men may differ, their stomachs are essentially the same.

Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

Whenever anybody called Nelson Mandela a saint, he would say: "If by saint you mean a sinner who is trying to be better, then I'm a saint."

People who stay in the same town with the same friends for their entire lives never get a chance to find out who they can really be, because they will always be considered as who they were.

Whenever you are ready, or if you never are, my heart is yours.

Three things I never lends - my 'oss, my wife, and my name.