When you get to know someone, you find there's something nasty in their woodshed.

By puberty I learned that nothing worth having could be easily attained and to succeed one must be single minded.

As long as we prioritize material truths over spiritual truths we will live in tyranny because we are living an illusion

You must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from the idea that people are watching you.

The thing I thought about doing it was it's Comic Relief and you've got to be funny. So although I did try to sing properly it obviously has hilarious results when you can't sing.

People say you should read your criticism because it will make you a better person but it doesn't. It just makes you a sad bitter old showbiz nightmare.

I get fixated when I'm bleeding -- I can see why they went in for blood-letting in the medieval times because it makes you feel a bit better. When I cut myself, the drama of it calms me down.

A library doesn't need windows. A library is a window.

There are two types of people in this world: one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go.

The bad-boy label is just an assumption.

There are 10-20 times more male comics than female comics; it's something to do with the social structure of society.

All they want is to point a finger.

Did it never strike your mind that what every woman says, some women may feel?

The only right you have with anyone in life is to the right to walk away.

Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.

When I was in Washington, I would usually get home from the Capitol at about 7:30 or 8, and I would try to write as much as possible. It was almost all in the wee hours.

I want my kids to be curious, to be interested in a lot of things, to be confident, and to feel they belong in any number of situations.

You don't have to have a thigh gap to be beautiful. It is possible to love your body the way it is.

Never say things to friends which you don't want to hear from enemies.

I love the eyebrow pencils. I do my brows every day. I won't leave my house without my brows! My beauty disaster from childhood was trying to look like Kate Moss and plucking all my brows off.

My dad had been an ardent amateur photographer, and he taught me to compose a photograph from the back to the front, and then populate the picture.