When you have five little kids, you're not going to open Mindy Kaling's latest book. You're playing with your kids.

The appetizer is just an excuse for an extra meal. Let's see, I will start with the eighty buffalo wings.

Yeah the appetizer, that's the food we eat before we have our food...No no you're thinking of dessert, that's food we eat after we have our food.

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Whenever you correct someone's grammar just remember that nobody likes you.

I talk kinda slow, especially for the Northeast, so it was a way to beat [would-be hecklers] to the punch.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

The only advantage to wearing glasses is that you can do that dramatic removal.

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

One of the benefits of eating salad is that you can eat tons of it and never be satisfied.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

He didn't look like the same person who picked me up this morning. Noah--sarcastic, distant, untouchable Noah--cared. And that made him real.

I became aware that the invincible power that has moved the world is unrequited, not happy, love.

Today I was a teacher, employed. True, I was also a teacher untried, but that could also be an advantage. I would learn, by God I’d learn. Nothing was going to stop me.

Why are all these dolls falling out of the sky? Was there a father? Or have the planets cut holes in their nets and let our childhood out, or are we the dolls themselves, born but never fed?

Productivity is driven at the enterprise level. Better wages, better performing workplaces, are driven at the workplace level.

It is a wearisome disease to preserve health by too strict a regimen.

I think the devil doesn't exist, but man has created him, he has created him in his own image and likeness.

Remember all those times I swore I needed you? Well consider them lies because baby here I am without you and I survived.

Many people would no more think of entering journalism than the sewage business - which at least does us all some good.

It would not be for the public good to have [a majority in Congress of one party] greater [than] two to one.