When you're done [with writing a book], people tell you "Well, gee, I'm not interested." "Great, I'm glad I sat down and wrote this!"

All the candy corn that was ever made was made in 1911.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken!

I like coffee because it gives me the illusion that I might be awake.

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.

Donald Trump came out as a birther, which is Republican for, 'I'm running for president.'

Elected officials shouldn’t get to choose who gets to choose elected officials.

If a group of people - leaders - can convince a group of folk who barely have a pot to piss in that the rich shouldn't be taxed-- THAT is leadership!

When it comes to idiots, America's got more than its fair share. If idiots were energy, it would be a source that would never run out.

You can never put too much pork in your mouth as far as I'm concerned.

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense.

Whatever’s eating at you, let it go. Emotion leads to poor decisions. Poor decisions lead to scrutiny. Scrutiny is our greatest threat.”The Barn, by Ken Cruickshank

I've gotten all kinds of reactions and it's been used in so many different ways.

Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better than not to think at all.

You can always wake up on the wrong side of the bed and boo-hiss everyone suffers. We can all be temperamental.

You don't dwell on what you've lost, you just move on.

All men love you for themselves. I love you for yourself.

If you go through life being casual, you will end up a casualty

I can write anything and just put it in a zine, and then it's out there. It is like blogging but on paper. It is what I started to do before the computers were all popular.

The losers in life think they have all the answers. They can’t learn because they’re too busy telling everyone what they know.