When you're in love it's the most glorious two and a half days of your life.

I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

I'm paranoid. On my stationary bike, I have a rear view mirror.

My parents were my worst audience.

I love being famous. It validates that I have something to say.

For 45 years I've worked without an audience.

My humor is channeling everything through my brain. For example, when I talk about something, it's how Richard Lewis feels about it. I'm a storyteller. I do a lot of free association.

I never wanted to do observational humor because I never wanted to tell people what they were seeing.

Great leaders get people to admit the truth because they know that dreams are buried under the lies they tell themselves, in order to feel okay with giving up.

Money can buy you attention, but it can never buy you true respect.

Love makes every space sacred and every moment meaningful . . .

All I see in the mirror every morning is a face that needs washing.

Whatever title you want to lay on me is fine. I am still working; you know what I'm saying?

Time & Co. are, after all, the only quite honest and trustworthy publishers that we know.

My actual life is a fact, in view of which I have no occasion to congratulate myself; but for my faith and aspiration I have respect. It is from these that I speak.

I don't like to think of it as being fired. Instead, I prefer to think of it as being on indefinite leave with a sabbatical flair.

There's no great guitarist that doesn't sit down and listen to Chet Atkins and Eddie Van Halen, and all these other great players.

Treat a thousand dispositions in a thousand ways.