When you're little, time stretches obligingly, and vacation is forever.

Gifts of time and love are surely the basic ingredients of a truly merry Christmas.

You don't get over hating to cook, any more than you get over having big feet.

Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents?

Life is so very simple when you have no facts to confuse you.

What most of us are after, when we have a picture taken, is a good natural-looking picture that doesn't resemble us.

It is important to remember that these are your Declining Years, in which you can jolly well decline to do what you don't feel like doing, unless not doing it would make you feel worse than doing it.

the most all-around, practical, long-wearing illusions are the ones that you weave yourself.

It's easier to find a traveling companion than to get rid of one.

As millions of women have done before me, I pulled domesticity over my head like a blanket and found I was still cold.

it isn't true, by the way, that nothing is as bad as you think it's going to be. Some things are exactly as bad as you thought they were going to be, and some things are worse.

I thought you were the loveliest, most enchanting creature God ever created.

Directing praise to oneself is to cash in on the ego in order to bankrupt the soul.

You must learn to enjoy life and have fun doing what you love.

Bad men skulking in the darkness have always been there, and always will.

When I do something good, the audience lets me know immediately. They laugh. That's it.

My message is the practice of compassion, love and kindness.

I'm a very slow reader, and books of interviews are an absolute favorite of mine.

I was instructed by people in higher rank to stand there and hold this leash and look at the camera. We were doing what we were told.

The plague of government is senile delinquency.

At some point in their life, everyone thinks they should go to law school. You may in fact think you want to go to law school now.