When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.

I'm a late-night guy.

I can always get better. A lot of my ex-girlfriends don't think I'm funny.

I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.

When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

I don't write any of my material down. I like to improvise and be spontaneous.

Trolls look for reasons to hate but really what they are mad at is the fact they are not included in anything ever.

Don't let the Sun go down on you today. Be the light instead, that shines forth and touches everyone's shadow, awakening them to that light.

That which is not worth contemplating in life, is not worth recreating in art.

Buffalo Bill's defunct

The Quartets have been a major part of my work.

I urge each of you to think seriously about the vision Dr. Daniel puts forth and think about what you can do to make it happen.

If the subject's easy we may all be wise; What stands unfirm, the smallest force overthrows.

When I wake up in the middle of the night when I hear one of my kids coughing or crying, I think about Syria.

I think it's important for people to know that bad things do happen to good people and that life can throw a serious curveball at even the most cautious and "prepared" people out there.

I have never been comfortable being the front man.

The writer of prose can only step aside when the poet passes...