When you're told as a caddie we need to take a break, you're fired.

My Nan had a plastic hip put in, but I thought she should have replaced it with a Slinky, 'cause if she fell down the stairs again.

If you want me to come and caddie for you full time, you've got to sit down and do some hard work and do some hard yards because that's what I expect.

Obviously I'm very confident, not only on the golf course, when I race. I've always backed myself. I'm a very confident sort of person.

The reality is that these cases are happening all the time. It's when they get out of control that you have a problem.

Under most circumstances that would result in disqualification. If the rules of golf are upheld, I believe he should have been disqualified.

Getting the first win is very important. I think that takes a lot of pressure off going forward.

Just because you're a good caddie doesn't mean to say that you're the one that can put a player over the top. A good caddie doesn't necessarily help you've got to gel.

A headline last year, after the death of Saddam Hussein, read: 'Tyrant is hanged'. My auntie looked at the newspaper and sobbed, 'Who's going to present "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?"'

Life is a dance between heaven and earth, the ebb and flow of life.

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

It's hard to build community around mediocre and mundane writing.

I'm constantly around people that talk a lot but say nothing. A sad case.

Our acts our angels are, for good or ill, our fatal shadows that walk by us still.

I, John Brown, am now quite certain that the crimes of this guilty land will never be purged away but with Blood.

I've paid my price, a high price, I watched my mother die. I look at everything I've been given now as a form of compensation. A person who has regrets is a person who casts anchors.

I've seen a lot of doom and gloom and depressing things, and it's [the] youth that give me hope.

Laugh every day as much as you can.

Are not there little chapters in everybody's life, that seem to be nothing, and yet affect all the rest of the history?