When you're white, the sky's the limit. When you're black, the limit's the sky.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

Members of Congress are like the voters in one respect -- they want to go with the winners.

Anyone who has used that comforting phrase 'a nice cup of tea' invariably means Indian tea.

Each one of us is a creator. And together, we are The Creator.

I'm very confident. Even when I read people saying horrible stuff about my weight.

Most novels I come across have all the excitement of a long trip on a bus with a sensitive glee club. Yammer and chat.

No one's ever completely broken. It's just a matter of how much has to fall apart before the ember of life is exposed to air.

Canadian federalism is more than a form of government. It's also a system of values that allows different people in diverse communities to live and work together in harmony for the good of all.

Make the basic shot-making decision early, clearly and firmly, and then ritualize all the necessary acts of preparation.

There was never yet philosopher that could endure the toothache patiently

Sometimes this world comes between us and what we love. But if we are patient, when this world passes away, there will be no more separation.