When you see people say crazy things on our show, they mean this stuff,and that's easy to forget: They're not joking.

You don't need people’s opinion on a fact. You might as well have a poll asking: ‘Which number is bigger, 15 or 5?’ or ‘Do owls exist?’ or ‘Are there hats?'

Drug companies are a bit like high school boyfriends - they're much more concerned with getting inside you than being effective once they're in there.

What a tiresome place America would be if freedom meant we all had to think alike or be the same color or wear the same gray flannel suit! That road leads to the conformity of the graveyard!

News is not a game show. You don't win a car if you happen to be right.

Economics is like the Dutch language - I'm told it makes sense, but I have my doubts.

One thing that America is objectively exceptional at is overreacting whenever anyone accuses them of not being exceptional.

The Confederate flag is one of those things that should only be seen on t-shirts, belt buckles and bumper stickers to help the rest of us identify the worst people in the world.

Anybody who claims to be excited for April Fools' Day is probably a sociopath.

Life is a short walk. There is so little time and so much living to achieve.

My fight is not for racial sameness but for racial equality and against racial prejudice and discrimination.

May your hands be an extension of your heart and may you do the work of love with them.

Great talkers, little doers.

I know I look like a piece of sausage to those lions. A sausage with braids.

I am a member of that small, little group that covers - I'm a member of the White House correspondents association. I go to the White House every day.

Personal power is not the end of the process. It is a tool that you use to get someplace. The purpose of the car is not to live in the car, it is to drive you someplace you want to go.

Everybody thinks that this civilization has lasted a very long time but it really does take very few grandfathers' granddaughters to take us back to the dark ages.

Terrorists have failed in what is arguably al Qaida's most important objective - to trigger revolutions.

I've never attended any Tea Party functions.

Like a midget at a urinal I was going to have to stay on my toes.

The entire social order ... is arrayed against a woman who wants to rise to a man's reputation.