When you see what some women marry, you realize how they must hate to work for a living.

A wise woman puts a grain of sugar into everything she says to a man, and takes a grain of salt with everything he says to her.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won't even lay down his newspaper to talk to you.

Love, like a chicken salad or restaurant hash, must be taken with blind faith or it loses its flavor.

Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning hand springs or eating with chopsticks. It looks easy until you try it.

A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it.

A bride at her second marriage does not wear a veil. She wants to see what she is getting.

A good woman inspires a man, a brilliant woman interests him, a beautiful woman fascinates him, but a sympathetic woman gets him.

Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.

The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is.

No trouble ever got fixed late at night, " he said. "Midnight is for regrets.

Be grateful for yourself... be thankful.

None but those who are happy in themselves can make others so.

Because it's uncensored cable, I think we'll be able to do the kind of sketch comedy that really hasn't been seen before. We can actually finish jokes.

And even sadness was also something for rich people, for people who could afford it, for people who didn't have anything better to do. Sadness was a luxury.

Only a lion can recognize a lion's roar.

My works are the issue of simple and plain experience which is the true mistress.

Never say NO, Never say, 'I cannot', for you are INFINITE. All the power is WITHIN you. You can do anything.

The way to really create justice for workers in America is to create job growth.

Capitalism has triumphed all over the world, but this triumph is only the prelude to the triumph of labour over capital.