When you think about it, Alaska is also near the North Pole, so she must also be friends with Santa.

You can truly grieve for every officer who's been lost in the line of duty in this country, and still be troubled by cases of police overreach.

I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.

There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.

Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

I've always liked Atlanta. And not just for the strip clubs, but the shopping and the food.

Yes, reason has been a part of organized religion, ever since two nudists took dietary advice from a talking snake.

I really like to put my name on everything, so my roommate doesn't steal it. It's really a throwback to that.

I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.

If your regime is not strong enough to handle a joke, then you don't have a regime.

No one gets up after death-there is no applause-there is only silence and some second-hand clothes, and that's death.

...somewhere, on some subterranean level, her darkness and his may have connected.

Sometimes, maybe we don’t know exactly what we have until someone shows us.

For many, many people, getting married is one of the most important things they will ever do in the pursuit of happiness.

I think those governments who resent religion, they're afraid of religion because religion may be in their eyes, in their views be seen as a counter government or a parallel government.

I've been working on the margins and I was aware of this choice from the start. I buy most of what's written and produced in the Arab world and I don't much like it.

Everyone says social media is a unicorn, but maybe it’s just a horse?

Authenticity is the best route

A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.

I put food on the table and roof overhead. But I'd trade it all tomorrow for the highway instead.