When you think of the good old days, think one word: dentistry.

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

From the beginning, look, what thou desires to see, it shall be shew thee.

A law of survival, Ragle had said. Those who refused to respond to the new stimulus would perish. Adapt or perish . . . version of a timeless rule.

Reading and writing is an escape for me. Where I can imagine and become who I want to be when I want to be. Where I want to be, it's just a matter of having the imagination to do so!

Maybe, ” he said in a slow, rural drawl, “you could explain to me why I found you in the middle of an orgy.” “Well, ” I said, “if you’re going to be in an orgy, the middle is the best spot, isn’t it.

For the first time, the object of what I want is more important than fulfilling my desires.

Sometimes I wonder what I'm a-gonna do 'Cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues.

To command their professors of astronomy to refute their own observations is to command them not to see what they do see and not to understand what they do understand.

No one can hit their target with their eyes closed.

I can't believe I'm in New Zealand, I can't wait to play. It's just so beautiful out here and so awesome.

San Francisco itself is art, above all literary art. Every block is a short story, every hill a novel. Every home a poem, every dweller within immortal. That is the whole truth.