When you use more than 3-5% of your brain, you don't want to be on Earth!"-Bob Diamond, Interdimensional Attorney, from the Albert Brooks' movie, Defending Your Life

I was in Kashmir last weekend. Went to visit one of my sweaters.

A lot of alliteration from anxious anchors placed in powerful posts!

I'm not a big fan of the post-Armageddon stories, where Denzel Washington is walking around in a torn coat.

Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive?

Your spouse should be just attractive enough to turn you on. Anything more is trouble.

If you want to be a writer, just write. There's no magic to it.

Getting older is a lot of fun. Right up there with chewing glass or putting your hand in a blender.

I can't not put humor in a book.

When I die, if the word 'thong' appears in the first or second sentence of my obituary, I've screwed up.

Relaxation is the absence of worry.

If i get a second chance to live, i'll rise much higher than i ever dream

The lives of the poor are enriched by the richness of simplicity!

I don't think Donald Trump is ideological.

And just as it is with all proper grannies, she ordered me into my pink bunny jammies.

Art is a never-ending dance of illusions.

Toledo is a place of innovation

I'm not a gangster, I don't have no desire to be hard.

Better to be blind and see with your heart, than to have two good eyes and see nothing.

What I must do is all that concerns me, not what the people think.

I think the president's comfortable with a certain level of violence.