When you work for other people you'll find ... that they do know what's best for them, and for the company. And you should listen to them and be respectful, but they don't know what's best for you.

They don't make you pay for the humor. It's up and down, but they're trying to give you as many laughs as possible in 2 minutes. They are the most honest comedians ever.

I went to a Catholic high school and it seemed like every time I drew something for a class project, it either got thrown away by the teacher or something.

I often feel that my life, much like my shows, will end on a cliffhanger.

Who is Mike Judge? Let me think. The only way I could possibly answer that question would be in a nonverbal fashion. I think I could do an interpretive dance that would answer that question for you.

It was really weird, when this thing started, to hear lawyers and MTV people calling me and actually saying 'ButtHead.' People tried to avoid it too.

I've seen a lot of pairs of guys that have been hanging out together way too long-until they're laughing all the time.

They say it figures MTV would do such a vulgar, awful, horrible show and they completely miss that it's satirizing the people who watch MTV.

Why should every single character be an honor student who goes around helping others and never doing anything wrong? Is that like the rule or something?

I like the Stooges. You know what movie I saw that I sort of discovered late was Jerry Lewis in 'The Nutty Professor'. I really liked that.

I think I'm optimistic, yeah, especially in real life, but I think it's funny to be pessimistic.

Loving what you do gives you the ultimate joy of life.

The tongue of slander is too prompt with wanton malice to wound the stranger.

The true gentleman does not preach what he practices till he has practiced what he preaches.

I have the same themes over and over again. How I'm saying it keeps changing or growing.

We're intellectual opposites. Well, I'm intellectual and you're opposite.

A work of art is good if it has arisen out of necessity. That is the only way one can judge it.

Pominville is going to have to open a planned parenthood center!

I'm not a believer in the future. The most interesting things are always behind us. I look at everything as archaeology.

Yoga is a generic name for any discipline by which one attempts to pass out of the limits of one's ordinary mental consciousness into a greater spiritual consciousness.

I love her beauty, but I fear her mind.