When you write from your gut and let the stuff stay flawed and don't let anybody tell you to make it better, it can end up looking like nothing else.

When a person tells you that you hurt them, you don't get to decide that you didn't.

The greatest thing about having a child is putting yourself second in your own life. It's a massive gift to be able to say you're not the most important person to yourself.

I don't stop eating when I'm full. The meal isn't over when I'm full. It's over when I hate myself.

I have a lot of beliefs... and I live by none of them...

My kids used to love math. Now it makes them cry. Thanks standardized testing and common core!

When you have bacon in your mouth, it doesn't matter who's president.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime. Leave the dude alone and he'll figure it out.

Everything is amazing and nobody is happy

What happens after you die? Lot's of things happen after you die - they just don't involve you

One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go in mid-December.

I turn even more flustered when I remember that I have actually pistol-whipped him in the face before. Romantic.

It is very important to generate a good attitude, a good heart, as much as possible. From this, happiness in both the short term and the long term for both yourself and others will come.

I want to do everything. That's my problem. Life is short, and I hate the idea of turning down anything. You never know what interesting experience might happen.

A JSON decoder MAY accept and ignore comments.

The first possibility of rural cleanliness lies in water supply.

I wanted to fight to get into the front. I was just hungry to do it.

Over my slumbers your loving watch keep; Rock me to sleep, mother; rock me to sleep.

The idea that all problems either have a solution or can be shown to be pseudo-problems is not one I share.

I don't know that I'd agree I was our best player.

What's the world for you if you can't make it up the way you want it?